Christmas Time
by Pricat
Summary: This is my second fan fic. It's nearly Christmas in the swamp and Shrek's in a bad mood as having ogre flu! Can Fiona deal with this as well as his cousin Snowgre visiting them? Find out!
1. Getting ready

Christmas Time 

By Pricat

Getting ready.

It was winter and Fiona was up early setting up decorations. It was nearly Christmas but for some reason she was the only one with the spirit overflowing inside of her. Shrek was still asleep unaware of this. To him , Christmas was forgotten and hated it. But there was a reason for this. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. She opened it and Donkey ran in excitedly. There was candy and frosting over his mouth. "Hey Princess! What's up?" he jabbered hyperly. She smiled at this. "I'm putting up decorations. You know Christmas is around the corner?" she told him.

"Oh yeah! It's my favourite time of the year!" he said excitedly. She then began singing "Joy to the world." As she began decorating the Christmas stump. "Where's the tree or whatever ogres put presents under?" he asked curiously. "This is the tree Donkey. Only I think Shrek doesn't like Christmas at all considering the mood he gets in whenever someone starts talking about it!" she told him gently. He understood. But they didn't know that Shrek had been sleepwalking and had heard this. His ears drooped sadly at this. "I'm sorry Fi but every year I get left out so I chose not to have it anymore" he said in his sleep.

He then fell asleep on the ground. The falling snow became a blanket for him. Donkey then looked out the window and gasped in shock. "Fi come quick! Shrek's been sleep walking again!" he yelled. She then saw this and freaked. She then walked out the door and found him asleep in the snow. "Please wake up honey! You're going to either get sick or freeze to death!" she told him.

He then opened his eyes and looked at her. "Yeah Fi but I don't deserve to go back inside, not with all that cheer and warmth. Just leave me out here, okay?" he said falling back into sleep. She then felt tears escape his throat as he talked in his sleep. "I 'm sorry honey but I can't let you freeze out here while we're having fun inside. I'll give you some hot cider!" she said. She then grabbed him by the feet and dragged him inside. This amazed donkey. He couldn't contain his laughter at this as she put Shrek on their alligator sofa and put a warm blanket over him. "Is he okay? He doesn't look so good." He told her. "I know but I can heat him up." She told him. She then grabbed a beer mug and filled it with hot swamp nog. "This will heat him up." Fiona said as she made Shrek sip some. He then coughed slightly. Donkey was worried by this.

"It's okay. I'm sure he'll be back to normal after a good night's rest. Help me put up more decorations will you?" she said to him. She then sneezed and blue snot came out of his nose as well as ear wax. But then they heard a knock on the door. She then opened it. There was a strange ogre at the door way. He had fur all over his body and trumpet shaped ears. He had brown eyes too like her husband. "Greetings Princess. I'm your husband's cousin. Can I come in?" he told her. She smiled at this. "Sure. Come on in!" she said. She wondered what he wanted. Donkey wondered where this dude came from. He then heard Shrek cough slightly and went over to him. He was shivering even though under a warm blanket. His brown eyes had a tinge of weakness and worry in them. "How are you feeling?" he asked him. "Terrible! My nose is leaking stuff as well as my ears, my head is aching like a thunder storm and I feel really tired." He told him raspily.

He hoped his friend would get better so he could enjoy the joys of the holiday season with him and Fiona.


	2. Memories

Christmas Time 

Memories

Fiona was still awake in bed. She wondered if her True Love was okay but also wondered why his cousin had decided to show up today. Snowgre was asleep in the kitchen, his head resting on the table. He was snoring peacefully. But Shrek was stil asleep on the sofa. He was curled up in the warm blanket but couldn't sleep.

He coughed slightly as he got off the alligator couch and walked around the room. He smiled sadly at the Christmas stump. For him , the holiday was painful because it brought back memories of what had happened to his parents as a child. He then started touching the Christmas stuff and examining it. He then found a Santa hat and put it on while trying to pour another cup of swamp nog for himself but the keg broke. Suddenly jets of swamp nog squirted everywhere. "Oh great! I try to get a drink of this and the keg breaks messing up the house!" he said raspily to himself. He couldn't shout as normal because the flu was making his throat sore. He then felt dizzy and fell on the floor. Before he did that, he kept his mouth open so he could maybe drink it before the house got more wrecked than before.

Swampnog then sprayed over him as he lay on the floor beside the Christmas stump. Snowgre heard this and woke up at this. He was shocked by the mess but laughed at the fact his cousin was passed out under the Christmas stump covered in swamp nog. "I wonder how this happened? Fiona's not going to like this. She's probably to scream or something or kick butt!" he said as he picked Shrek up and put him back on the couch. The blanket then was pulled over him to keep him warm. He chuckled as he went back to sleep. But in Far, Far Away Charming was angry at Fiona and her husband for foiling him all the time. He'd been spying on Snowgre and smiled evilly. He knew why he was at the swamp. Snowgre wanted to work at the North Pole making toys with St Nick but he was denied this just because he was Ogrese. "If I go there and ruin Christmas, blame it on Snowgre, he'll never get a job there no matter what Fiona and her husband try to do to help!" he cackled. He then pulled out his mother's wand and disappeared.

It was early morning in the swamp and Fiona had gotten out of bed. She was about to make breakfast when she the mess in the living room. She was shocked by this. "WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS ROOM! THERE'S SWAMP NOG EVERYWHERE AND IT MESSED UP THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS!" she yelled angrily. Snowgre woke up at this with a start. "Wait Fi! It was an accident! Shrek was trying to make himself a glass of swamp nog but the keg broke and he tried to fix it but didn't want to tell you because he knew you'd be upset!" he told her. She then went over to the couch and gasped. Her husbamd looked worse for wear and more blue mucus and ear wax was coming out. "He's getting very worse! Please tell me there's a way to heal him!" she said, tears forming in her blue eyes. Snowgre then got an idea. " I know of a potion that might help. I'll go make it!" he said as he went outside and brought in a pot and his bag. He pulled out mushrooms , onions, herbs and boiled them together saying an incantation. He just needed to wait until it was cooked. Meanwhile Fiona was doing some Christmas baking. She was making cookies. Donkey was jumping up and down excitedly as she put them in the oven. "Are they ready yet? Are they?" he asked. She smiled at this. "No they're not ready and don't try using it to make it cook faster like last time. You almost destroyed the house with that!" she said to him. What had happened with the oven was that last year Fiona was cooking the turkey but it was taking too long. Donkey then decided to fiddle with the knobs to make it cook faster. Suddenly both Shrek and Fiona heard an explosion from the kitchen. They ran in seeing half of the kitchen on fire and Donkey running around screaming in panic and freaking out. Pieces of the turkey were splattered everywhere. Shrek was less than happy at that. After that incident of explosive proportions, Donkey wasn't allowed near the oven.

Snowgre laughed at that. He could imagine the look on his cousin's face walking in and finding the kitchen on fire. "Yeah he was pretty emotional about that! We had to get food from Mc Duloc's because of that." Fiona told him smiling. He wanted to tell her why he'd came here. He hoped they wouldn't be weird about it. He decided to try it. "Hey Fiona do you think… that an ogre like me would be good at making toys?" he asked quietly. She smiled at this but wondered why he'd asked this. "Sure they'could. Who come you're asking this?" she told him. "I asked it because I want to go work at the North Pole and make toys but St Nick won't let me work there because I'm an ogre! I was hoping Shrek and you could help me in this." He told her. She felt sorry for him not being allowed to work somewhere he wanted to just because he was different but nice inside. "We'll help you as soon as this flu thing's over!" she said. "That's great! Thanks for wanting to help!" he said. Hope shined in his eyes at this. Suddenly they heard an explosion come from the kitchen. "Not again!" she yelled as she went into the kitchen. Snowgre followed her. Donkey had tried to make the cookies go faster but the oven was on fire. He had a fire extinguisher and was trying to put it out but somebody else was lying on the floor. It was Shrek. He'd been sleep walking and wandered into the kitchen following the smell coming from it. There were burns on his face and hands and was groaning in pain. Fiona was very angry. "Donkey what did I tell you? Not to try cooking things faster! Because of this, the oven's on fire and Shrek's badly burned! I hope you're happy!" she yelled in anger. Snowgre then used his ice powers to stop the fire.

He watched as Fiona helped put his cousin on the sofa. She then took off his shirt to check the rest of him for burns. There was a big one on his stomach and it was blistering. It looked sore to touch. Tears ran down her face at this. "It's okay! I'm sure Donkey didn't mean any harm by trying to make the oven cook faster." He said as he rubbed her back gently. "Thanks Snowg for that." She said to him. She then turned her gaze to Donkey. "I think you'd better go spend time with your family. You've done enough damage as it is here." She said to him coldly.

He began to protest but walked out the door silently. He hadn't meant for a repeat of last year but he was trying to cook them faster. Snowgre watched this as he used his hands as an ice pack on his cousin's stomach. He saw Fiona clean up the kitchen. "I'm sorry you got burned like that. It looks really nasty." He said quietly. Fiona then watched him go into the next room where the pot was. The potion was ready. He put it into a beer mug and brought it near Shrek. "What's that?" he asked wearily. "It's a little something to heal you!" he said as he watched him drink it. Some of the colour returned to his face. "That's good!" he said as he fell asleep.


	3. Journey to the North Pole

Christmas Time 

Journey to the North Pole.

Snowgre watched as Shrek got better the last few days and smiled. Soon they would help him get the job he wanted. Shrek saw Fiona going back and forth into the kitchen. "What happened?" he asked curiously. Snowgres's brown eyes shined at this. "Donkey was using the oven to make things cook faster and put the kitchen on fire as well as burning you!" he said quietly to him. "Where did Donkey go? He's not here!" he said as he drank more of the potion Snowgre had made. "Fiona got mad at him and made him leave." He told him. This stunned Shrek. Normally he was the one that made Donkey leave. Fiona then came into the living room.

"What're you talking about?" she asked them curiously. Snowgre smiled at this but was nervous about this. If she was going to fly off the handle while they talked about it , then it was better to drop it. "We were talking about what happened a few days ago in the kitchen." He told her. Her blue eyes darkened at this. "Are you guys up for a quest?" she asked them. Shrek was confused by this. "Yeah I'm up for it whatever it is!" he said. Snowgre smiled at this. He knew what she was on about. "Let me use my Ogrewician powers to get us there!" he told her. She reluctantly agreed. Shrek then watched as he, Fiona and Snowgre were surrounded by a haze of blue magic and disappeared. He hoped his cousin would help him. Charming had been causing chaos in the North Pole. He'd stormed into Santa's workshop and wrecked everything the elves had bee working on by using his mother's wand and unleashing her magic. The elves had ran off scared by this but Santa was in his room working on the list. He was unaware of Charming's evilness. "I can't wait to see Snowgre's face when Santa tells him he can't work here!" he cackled evilly. Shrek, Fiona and Snowgre landed in the snowy ground of a hill. In the horizon. "Alright we're here!" Snowgre said happily. Shrek wondered what they were doing here. "We're helping Snowgre get a job with Santa so he can make toys!" Fiona explained to him. Snowgre heard screaming come from the little village. "Something's wrong down there! We've got to help!" he said to them. Fiona and Shrek heard it too. "You're right Snowg. Let's do it!" they said as they ran down the hill. But before they entered the village, they put on cloaks with cowls so nobody would freak out or do anything that hunters usually do. They then entered the village hastily. The place was very cheery , happy and busy.

Suddenly an elf bumped into Fiona and knocked her over. When she got to her feet, he froze in fear. "Y-you're an o-ogre!" he said stammering. Fiona then felt awful by this. She smiled warmly at him. "Don't worry! Mt friends and I won't hurt you! They're Ogrese too but they won't hurt you either. One of wants to work here and make toys." She said to him. He looked into her eyes and saw no evil in them so calmed down. "Are you alright now?" she asked him. "Yeah I'm fine. Maybe you could help us. There was this guy with blond hair, armour on hid body. He had cherry glitter on his lips and a star shaped wand. He wrecked the workshop entirely and trapped most of the elves. Do you know who it is?" Shrek and Fiona knew who it was but Snowgre wasn't so sure. "It's Charming! He must be trying to wreck Christmas for every one! He's doing it so Snowgre gets blamed and he doesn't get his job." Fiona said to them. Snowgre was furious at this. "How dare he try that!" he yelled angrily. "It's okay! Calm down. We've beaten this jerk before and we can do it again." Shrek told him calmly. But Charming was in Santa's room. "You see those people down there in the cloaks? They're really hideous monsters trying to wreck your holiday!" he told him. But then he looked through his Goodness Scope at these strangers hearts and found goodness in them. Charming then ran out of his room. "Snowgre do you want to try for that job or not?" Fiona asked him. "Yes but St Nick won't listen! He's convinced we're all bad! We're even on his bad list!" Snowgre told her. Santa was listening to this. He realised his mistake and needed to fix it.

"Bring those strangers in the cloaks to me! " he ordered an elf. He then led them into the workshop. Fiona and Shrek were shocked by the damage done to the gifts there. "Charming's been here all right!" Snowgre said angrily. Santa then took Snowgre with him to prepare the sleigh. But then he stepped on a trap door and fell through. Charming then took him and disappeared. "Fiona and I will go after him. You stay here and fix the gifts for when we return with Santa. Maybe after this, we'll have a merry Christmas or Hannukah!" she said to Shrek. He saw the look in her eyes as he smiled playfully. He was unaware of what Fiona meant. She along with Puss , the other fairytale creatures and other relations had been planning a Hannukah party for Shrek so he wouldn't be left out. They'd called it Hannukahmas. But that wasn't what he'd meant when he'd said he was left out. He then got to work fixing the gifts. He managed to finish early due to his handyman skills. He then felt thirsty. He saw something that made hot drinks. It was a hot cocoa maker but he didn't know that as he filled a cup with it and started drinking. Ogres never drink cocoa normally because of their digestive systems but he finished the cup. Charming had hidden Santa at Snowgre's pad. Snowgre had figured this out and he and Fiona headed off there using their Ogrewician powers. Charming had cast a spell that destroyed all Christmas spirit in the area. Snowgre then sank to his knees in pain. "It's okay Snowg. Tune it out." Fiona told him. He then fainted. Charming saw this and dragged him into the cave. He tied him beside Santa. Suddenly Shrek appeared. He was angry at Charming for doing that.

Snowgre then woke up at this. "I've been very patient with you and kept my anger in check whenever you pull something like this but you crossed the line by involving family." He yelled as he pinned Charming to the wall. "Is this what he's like with this guy?" Snowgre asked as she untied him and Santa.


	4. It's Christmas Eve!

Christmas Time 

It's Christmas Eve!

Fiona smiled playfully at this. "We don't have time to argue! It's Christmas Eve and we've got to get St Nick back to the North Pole so he can make his yearly deliveries!" she said. Snowgre agreed. "You're right Fi! Let's go!" he said. They then used their Ogrewician powers to bring Santa back to the North Pole. Shrek then tied up Charming. "You're staying here so when I get back, we can finish playing our little game!" he said as he used his powers and disappeared. Meanwhile Santa was getting the sleigh ready and Snowgre was helping him with it.

The bags of gifts were already loaded onto it. The sleigh then took off into the night sky. Shrek then showed up. Charming wasn't happy because of what Fiona's husband had done to him. He'd cut the ropes with his sword and escaped. He then disappeared. Snowgre was watching to make sure Santa was okay. He then saw someone shoot a harpoon into the sleigh and bring it down to the ground. He then got onto an engine powered skidoo. Shrek was on the back of it. Snowgre then pulled out a bag of clothes out of the glove compartment. It was a Santa suit. "Put these on quick! I'm going to get up as near as I can to the sleigh and you jump into it! I've a feeling Charming's behind this and we've got to stop him!" he said to him. Shrek laughed at this as he put the clothes on. Snowgre then pulled up close to the sleigh and Shrek jumped into it. Santa had jumped out of it but was in a replacement sleigh and was making deliveries around the world. Charming then dragged the sleigh into his mother's cottage. Shrek was hiding under the bags of gifts. He snickered at this at the thought of being able to give Charming a taste of his own medicine. Charming then began to unload the bags out of the sleigh. As soon as the last bag was out, Shrek jumped from his hiding place. "What are you doing here? You didn't hurt Santa, did you?" he asked. "No I didn't hurt or attack him! He's in a replacement sleigh halfway around the world now thanks to Snowgre." He told him. Charming then launched a magical attack on him but missed. "My turn!" Shrek said excitedly. Suddenly balls of SPAM appeared in his hands. "Not SPAM!"Charming said. "Yep. SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, Lovely SPAM, Wonderful SPAM!, SPAM, SPAM!" he sang as he threw SPAM balls at him. Charming was really worried. His nemesis was throwing balls of SPAM at him and singing the SPAM! Song from Monty Python. He then caved in. "Okay I'll stop! Just stop throwing SPAM and singing that song!" he begged. Shrek laughed at this. "I knew you'd see things my way!" he said as he helped him up but tripped him for fun but helped him up again. He then tied Charming to his arm with handcuffs. He then started walking singing Rocketman William Shatner style. Charming tried to break free. "No dice bub." He said. He'd fed the key to one of the Dronkeys.

They then climbed into the sleigh and took off for the swamp. The Dronkeys were pulling it. Meanwhile in the swamp Fiona was hanging up candles with the Christmas decorations. Puss then put some Christmas presents under the Christmas stump. There was a knock on the door and Snowgre came in. He then kicked off his boots revealing his furry feet. "Aren't you going to be cold senor?" Puss asked him. "No." he said as he opened his bag and put on more boots. "They're my slippers!" he told them. "But they look like boots!" Fiona said to him. Puss was drooling at the boots. "I get that all the time. They're slippers but they're designed as boots. They keep my feet toasty." He said as he helped Fiona with the cooking. Snowgre laughed as the sleigh landed in the swamp. Guests were already arriving and the party was in full swing! Shrek was amazed at this. Fiona smiled as he was still in the Santa outfit. "Do you like this honey? We set it up a while ago." She said as she kissed him on the lips.


	5. Icyous

Christmas Time 

Icyous.

Shrek smiled at this as the other fairy tale guys and Puss mingled and were having a good time. There was food and other things as well as candles all around. "This is ingenious! It's Christmas mixed with Hannukah! " he said happily. But somebody wanted to spoil the fun of the season. He had blue spiky hair, blue skin and pale blue lips. He'd been imprisoned in Yule Land's highest prison but Charming's hate had helped him escape. Snowgre was outside using his powers of ice and Winter to make it snow in the swamp. Icyous wanted to use him as his minion because of his powers but first he had to convince the younger ogre to join him.

He hid in a bush behind the young ogre's back. "Hello Snowgre!" he said coldly. He whirled around at his voice but was shocked to see him. "You're Icyous! My parents used to tell me stories about you at this time of year." He told him. Icyous smiled at this. "Do you like this time of year and never want it to end?" he said to Snowgre. "Yes I do. Being an ogre with wintry powers , I love this time of year but in the summer, I get ill." Snowgre told him. "I can make it happen if we join forces!" Icyous said to him. "Yeah but people like the other seasons like my cousin and I think that's the way it should stay." He told him. Icyous then grew very angry but cooled down. "It's okay. Why don't you think about it for a while and when you're ready, we'll talk!" he said as he disappeared in a swirly mist of snow. Snowgre did have one other wish besides making Winter stay.

It was to see his parents again. They'd been torn apart years ago but now he missed them. He then saw the first star come out in the night sky and smiled. "I wish I can be with my parents again." He said to it. Fiona had went outside for some air and heard this. She felt sorry for him. She then went inside hoping his wish would come true. She was still awake in bed. She couldn't get what Snowgre had said out of her head. She was waiting for Shrek to come back. He'd gone off with Snowgre to the North Pole for some reason. She was unaware h was delivering presents to teens around the world. Snowgre then crept in after she'd fallen asleep. He had a sack of gifts with him. He then put them under the Christmas stump. Fiona heard this and woke up and walked into the room. But Snowgre was already gone. "That's weird. I thought someone was here." She said as she went back to bed. It was dawn when Shrek climbed into bed. He then snuggled up nearer Fiona's body and kissed her on the lips before falling asleep.

It was mid afternoon when the couple woke up but Fiona ran into the outhouse and threw up. This had been happening a lot lately. They were in the middle of opening Chrstmas presents when she fainted with a huge THUD! Puss heard this and ran in. Later on the doctor's carriage showed up but that only flooded Shrek with worry. Fiona then rested on the bed. She decided to have a rest before Christmas dinner. Shrek then came in and sat down beside her. He then put a hand gently on her stomach and felt something kick against it. This sent a chill down his spine. He fainted. He landed near her stomach.

Puss then walked in. Shrek woke up screaming. "Why're you doing that for? You'd better stop before you wake your wife up! What's wrong?" he said to him. "I figured out what's wrong with Fi. She's pregnant!" he told him. "But that's good! Why are you worried senor?" he said as he listened. "Because she better not give birth to a girl. If that happens, then chaos is going to break out!" Shrek told him softly. "Why not a girl?" he said quietly. "If she gives birth to a girl, then her curse will transfer to her because of her genetics. If that happens, then it's best we not get attached to it if that happens because I don't want to lose my daughter or have her leave just because some spell affects her!" he told him. Puss saw worry in his friend's brown eyes and understood.

"I need you to promise me something!" Shrek told him. "Sure senor. What is it?" he asked. "I need you to not tell Fiona what we were talking about. It would only make her mad or upset her." He told him. "I promise!" he said. They then left the room quietly. Fiona's eyes then opened slowly. "I'm sorry you feel like that but maybe she won't be affected by the spell." She said softly to herself.


	6. Bundle of joy

Christmas Time 

Bundle of joy

Shrek wondered where Fiona was. Puss then joined him. "She's at the hospital giving birth to your child!" he said. Shrek then spat out his coffee in shock. "Let's go!" he said. Puss agreed. They set off. They made it to the hospital after midday. They walked into the room Fiona was in. She looked tired. In her arms was a beautiful baby girl sleeping peacefully. Shrek looked at this stunned. "Hi honey. How are you feeling?" he asked her. "Tired but good. I'm sorry but I gave birth to a baby girl. Please don't be mad!" she told him. "It's okay but you know what might happen because of this." He told her. "Yeah I know." She said. Suddenly the sun set as they left. A bright light then came from Fi's ward but it faded instantly. Shrek then ran up there and Fiona smiled. In her arms was a baby ogre. When they'd came earlier, the baby was human but now she was this like her mother used to be going through. He turned to leave but someone was pulling on his hand.

It was their child. "See she likes you! I know you're disappointed about this but we can't change who she is. Besides she's better than the humans who keep bugging you!" she told him calmly. The baby then let go of his hand. The baby then held one of it's hands for her father. "Don't worry, we'll see Daddy later. He's in a bad mood at the minute because of my genetics and because of the curse that plagued me when I was a child." The baby gurgled happily and pointed to her. Meanwhile Shrek's thoughts were drifting off to the baby as a child but more as a teenager. He didn't want to be the one to have to explain to her why other kids would be mean to her and why boys avoided her. He was seriously dreading that when the time came. He hoped that she'd have her mother's confidence, her friendliness, his surly tongue, his intelligence, Fiona's self defence skills and his heart of gold. He hoped that she'd have that important trait. It was something he wanted her to have. Snowgre then showed up. There was sadness in his eyes and this worried him. Tears were forming in Snowgre's eyes.

"I was thinking about my parents after wishing on a star." He said sadly. "Don't worry bub, I'm sure you'll be together again someday. Actually I have a wish of my own. I want my child to grow up without scorn from anyone human and Ogrese." He said to him. Snowgre smiled at this. "I know about that already!" he told him proudly. Later that afternoon Fiona came home with their child. She'd decided to name her Katya. Snowgre smiled at this as she was in Fiona's arms. Katya was reaching out for Shrek. Fiona then put her in his arms. Katya smiled at him happily with a look of trust in her brown eyes. She then hugged him around the neck. He smiled and hugged her back gently. "Maybe having you isn't so bad as I thought!" he told himself as he played with Katya. Fiona then decided to go into Far, Far Away to do clothes shopping. They'd left Katya with Doris while they went out. They travelled there by using the onion carriage. When they entered the kingdom, they went into the first clothes shop they saw. Fiona went into a changing room with a bikini and mini skirt. Shrek was looking at a shirt and trouser set. They were like the ones he had but with sequins and a hat you can drink beer out of. He then went into a changing room to try them on. He then took off his huge clothes. He tried on the sequiny trousers but they ripped on his butt and he could see his underwear. "That's weird. My other trousers fit very well." He thought to himself. He tried on the shirt but it ripped as well. "What's going on here?" he said. He looked at his chest and realised what was wrong. Being 300 pounds in body weight meant clothes like these wouldn't fit him. This shocked him. "I never knew I put on that much weight! Fiona probably knows about it but she's nice enough not to mention it." He said sadly as he put his clothes back on. Suddenly the changing room mirrors broke into a million pieces. He sighed sadly at this as he walked out.

He'd decided to get the beer hat. Fiona was trying on the bikini and was looking good in it. She then saw something on her right cheek. She then felt it. There were three little pimples on it. She was shocked at this. She couldn't let Shrek see her cheek. After trying on the mini skirt, she put a plaster over her cheek until she got home and conceal them from view. She then paid for them and saw Shrek waiting outside for her. She noticed there was a sad look in his eyes. They went to Subwagon for lunch. They had Veggie Delight subs and drank Diet Peppysi. "Fiona can I ask you something?" Shrek said to her. "Sure. Go ahead!" she told him. He felt a lump in his throat as he prepared to ask her this but swallowed it. "Do you think I'm fat?" he asked her quietly. This shocked Fiona. "He's not that! He's perfect the way he is. I wonder what made him ask that?" she thought to herself. But before she could answer him, a sub hit him on the head. A teenager and his friends laughed at this hysterically. "What are you gonna do about it huh?" he asked mockingly. Anger rushed through Fiona's body at this. "You're not going to be laughing when I'm through with you! Is it mock people who are different day or something?" she retorted angrily. She then kicked their butts. But one of the boy's friends crawled under their table. He cut off Shrek's belt with his sword. Suddenly Shrek's shirt and trousers fell off him. The other boys laughed riotously at this. "See? He really is fat for one of his kind!" he said sneering. He and his friends then ran off laughing. Fiona then came over to him. There was a look of great sadness and embarrassment in his eyes. Tears were beginning to pool in those brown eyes of his and held them in. "I'm sorry honey about that. Ignore those little jerks. They're idiots! Are you okay?" she said to him gently. He didn't answer but followed her into the toilets so he could fix his clothing problem. She waited for him outside but heard crying. She then went into the Men's Room to see what was wrong. It was Shrek. He was upset at the minute and vulnerable as well. She understood and went out after washing her hands.

A few minutes later Shrek came out of the Men's Room with the belt fixed. She saw red rims around his eyes but kept quiet about it. They then got into the onion carriage and headed home. On the way there, Shrek fell asleep in Fiona's arms. He was very tired at the minute but was also masking his emotions. Fiona felt sorry for him as she kissed him. "I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I don't think you look fat. You look perfect and cuddly!" she whispered in his right ear. Later on that night Snowgre decided to visit them for a while. He heard someone throwing up in the out house. He didn't know it was Shrek. He'd read in some of Fiona's magazines that some people lose weight by being sick after meals. Fiona had tried popping the zits but they came back more messed up. She was unaware of what her husband was doing. Snowgre watched as Shrek played with Katya for a while. He could guess that he was upset about something. "Are you okay? It's just Fiona told me about what happened earlier." He said to him. He then saw a look of sadness on his cousin's face. "I'm going to get something to eat! Do you want anything Snowg?" Shrek told him. He watched as his cousin went into the kitchen. He then came out eating a stick of weed rat stew. After that, he went to the outhouse and threw up. Snowgre heard this and watched from outside the outhouse window. "Why's he doing this for? Doesn't he know how dangerous doing that is? I've got to tell Fi before he does real damage to himself. But he can't know I was watching him do it! He'd be mad!" he told himself.

He then went back inside. Fiona was playing with Katya. He sighed as he sat down. "What's up?" she asked him nervously. She could tell something wasn't right and she needed to know. "It's your husband! He's being sick in the outhouse after eating! I saw him do it a couple of minutes ago and I'm nervous about it! You know how dangerous it is!" he told her sadly. He wished there was something he could do to help. Icyous watched this from his lair happily. "So he wants his cousin to be okay? I could make that happen." He thought evilly as he waited for Snowgre to leave the swamp so they could talk to him. Fiona felt sorry for her True Love. "I know why he's doing this! He saw some nice clothes yesterday but they were too skinny for him so he thinks he needs to lose weight. He also must've come up with this idea after what happened at Subwagon!" she told Snowgre calmly. "I wish there was a way to help him." He told her as he left. Suddenly Icyous confronted him in a swirl of icy mist like last time. "Hey Snowg! I heard you want to help your cousin lose weight!" he told him. "You could help him?" he asked Icyous eagerly. "Yes I could… if you help me. Think about it Snowg. You'd get your wish and so would your cousin! So what do you say?" he asked him. There was a look of sadness on Snowgre's face as he thought about his parents. He then got an idea. "I'll help you but on one condition." He told Icyous. Icyous's eyes shone with delight at this. "What is it?" he asked curiously. "If I help you, I want you to help me find my parents as well as my cousin!" he told him.

"Let's go!" he told Snowgre. They disappeared in a swirl of icy snow. But Fiona had seen Icyous talking to Snowgre and was worried for him. He'd just made a deal with that icy dude because he'd said he would help him find his parents and make her husband lose weight. She hoped he knew what he was doing. Icyous was pleased by this. He'd tried to get Snowgre to help before but it didn't work until he'd threw those he cared about into the mix. But he couldn't tell if Snowgre was loyal to him yet. He then got an idea. He'd show Snowgre what he could have if they joined forces and then bring up the contract once he said "I want to join!" but he had to convince Snowgre it was for his best interest if he wanted those he loved to be happy.


End file.
